I'm Sure it's totally normal that....

• I have a huge honey extractor sitting in the middle of my bedroom.  Where else would I put it after washing it out in the master bathroom shower?
• I plan to have a Walking Dead premier party complete with severed hand meatloaf and brain cupcakes.  My kids are the only ones invited.
• I have eaten so many jalapenos lately that I can practically breath fire.  Hey, they are ripe and I don't want them to go to waste.
• I own an epi pen and an inhaler...but I have no idea where either is.  But ask me where absolutely anything any my kids own is and I can tell you exactly where it is.
• I drive more miles than a cross country trucker.  Today's route included a trip to the dentist, kids to school, me to work, a kid to the chiropractor, pick up kids from practice and then home....approximately 165 miles for the day. 
• My dogs just got a haircut. One looks naked and the other looks like Donald Trump from behind.  It's kind of hard to look at either of them right now.