Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Things You Find in Your Washing Machine

Everyone finds stuff in their washing machine from time to time: hair ties, little video games cartridges, crayons - UGH, chap stick and occasionally money.  It's kinda like playing the usually lose but every once in a while you get a little pay out.  I guess its a kind of reward for being the one who has to do the laundry.  So yeh, if I find money, it's mine! 

But the other day I found something very interesting in the laundry.  I wouldn't exactly say I hit the jackpot!  I open up the washer and shake out Ellen's bed sheets...cuz it appears a bunch of socks have gotten stuck inside the elastic corners.  I hate it when that happens!  So I am shakin' and gettin the stuff out when I give the sheet one last good crack up in the air.   And through the air flies this weird substance that hits me in the top of the head.  It almost felt like shrapnel...but softer and I might even say a bit on the squishy side.  After the impact the tiny objects quickly fall to the ground.  Of course my eyes immediately follow them to their resting places on the laundry room flow.  Hmmm!  I stare in disbelief.....LITTLE BITS OF HAMBURGER.  I frantically start shaking my head in horror, to free the rest of the beef from my hair.  I was much more comfortable with the thought that I was hit in the head with shrapnel then the knowledge that I had hamburger particles in my hair.  The fact that it was clean hamburger....really didn't help much.

It takes several minutes to free all the hamburger from my hair, the rest of the laundry, the washer and the rubber seal around the washer door.  I find myself thinking that this washer has a serious design flaw,  "if the manufacturer could only see how impossible it is to get exploded hamburger out of the door seal they would have never designed it this way".  IT'S TRUE!

Anyway, you may ask how did a hamburger get in my washer?  I know I did.  I have a couple theories.  First of all, we did have a party the night before.  Lots of people where over.  However, no hamburgers were served.  And to my knowledge, no outside beef was brought in.  Then of course we do have the puppy.  And the garbage outside in the garage was torn up.  But if Maggie actually found a you think she would just leave it lying around.  No, I think she would suck it down in one obnoxious growling gulp.  Then there is the final theory.  If you recall they were Ellen's sheets.  I am so sorry Ellen.  But the prior evidence against you is a bit damning.  Past items that I have found in Ellen's bed do include: an apple core, a half eaten candy bar, and a partially eaten sandwich.

Well, I doubt we will ever solve this mystery.  But I do know that I will be a little more careful when loading the washer and a lot more careful when emptying it.  And for your future reference beef does not wash well!